Snowshoeing in a winter wonderland

After Jordan died last year, I found my desire and discipline to work out just evaporated. I guess just working at my stressful job with its insane hours, plus the farm operations were enough to sap the energy I had. The result is I’m in terrible shape if you ask me. So I decided to do something about it and bought some snowshoes to get back out there. The maiden voyage didn’t go well – apparently you have to have them on your feet really, really tight… It did however allow me to get closer to nature as I spent quite a bit of time looking closer at it as it rushed up at me as I landed on my face.

The next day went better, though I attacked it with perhaps too much vigor and should’ve started with a smaller journey. Halo (my collie) likes to follow behind me letting me be the trail blazer and keep stepping on the back of the showshoes, reuniting me with the ground over and over. I knew the general direction home but having not worked out in far too long, I decided to hike through some wetlands which have weeds that seek to grab you and keep you with them to share their lonely existence. By the time I hiked out out of those weeds – after debating a number of times whether to turn back and follow my broken trail, continue moving deeper into woods looking for a better trail out or just resign and forage for a meager existence…I continued forward. As I fell farther and farther into a weakened state of exhaustion (otherwise known as reinforcement that I’m out of shape…) and malnourishment (Doritos sounded really good…) and dehydration (man a hot cup of coffee would be SO good out here…) that’s when I asked the dogs to assist in finding a trail. After that I realized they’re really only man’s best friend because among guys we mooch, and dogs really like to just sorta mooch off you as opposed to cats who make you feel like they do you a favor if they lower themselves to accepting something you offer them versus them stealing it off your plate when you get up to get something. Walker just likes to run and explore. He could’ve cared less if we’d become stranded out there.

Needless to say, we did make it out alive and plan to write a book about our experience and get on Oprah before she pretends to retire and instead switches to the cable network she owns. Or at least have more coffee and Doritos.