March 7th, 2010

March 7th, 7:05pm: To the world at large – the only word I can think of is WOW. I went to my PO Box today and apparently it is possible to send love through the United States Postal Service. My PO box was full and had several cards telling me to go to the counter – I gave the card to the rep who looked at it and said “Oh yeah, you have A LOT of mail.” In realm that existed before I had met you, the world, ‘a lot of mail’ meant it would fit in my arms or in a small box. A lot of mail meant the credit card companies had tracked me down and that I may have already won…  What the new definition of a lot of mail is they have to let me use a card to bring it out and it’s a good thing I have a truck with an extended cab! You sent cookies, you sent gifts, you sent cards, you sent donations for his foundation. The Friends of Barbaro have registered a star in Windchill’s name – appropriately in the Pegasus cluster, we now have a beautiful framed declaration and location of the star (thanks Ann – who acted as FOB’s ambassador for this). There were care packages with hot cocoa and coffee. And in the spirit of the Appaloosa part of Windchill and in Native American tradition, Jill from Duluth sent a pouch with tobacco to keep near Windchill’s urn – which we will honor Jill. There’s an Apache blessing to keep near Windchill, honoring his spirit (and again, we will honor your wishes and keep it near). I hope those of you that sent such beautiful tributes will consider posting the tributes and your thoughts regarding them on Windchill’s forum. I don’t know if I can post it right here without possibly violating somebody’s copyrighted thoughts but they’re beautiful. Many of you have also sent poems and beautiful tributes and now that there’s the forum, I may try to start cutting and pasting some of them but I don’t want to risk violating anyone’s personal thoughts in doing so I’ve been cautious in that regard.

Somebody’s thoughts that I don’t believe will be offended that I share will be Ms. Millard’s 1st grade class from Meadowvale Elementary School, Elk River, MN. Ms. Millard and our little friends – the scrapbook you made is so beautiful. I know that you wrote it around the time Windchill’s friends at Northern Lights Elementary School in Superior, WI wrote get well letters and I hope that you all have read Windchill’s letter to you that he had left in his stall. Because Ms. Millard’s first grade class words have such hope for a little colt, I’m typing them up — they’re too precious not to share. I wish you could see the book they made, which they called “Someday”. Click here to read the wisdom carried by the young

March 7th, 11:02am: Morning friends. I’m sorry for the late post but I’m still adjusting to the normal world again and took the day off today to sort of ‘crash’. The pain is working its way out of my system, one of the nurses from work who has the unfortunate role of being my advisor when I goof something up (like the spilled coffee incident…groan…) said it will be some time before my own systems return to normal. In the meantime, it’s ibuprofen to take the ‘edge’ off and this morning just laying trying to get some rest. Fortunately people have been understanding and supportive in my work life.

More importantly for you – after two days of testing and working on the forum, it’s being moved to a new high speed server with a lot of bandwidth this morning. We think we’ve got the bugs out though you may prove me wrong once this starts but the important thing is that shortly we will have a way for everyone to talk, to post their thoughts and their grief and find out that they’re not alone. I think we all need that. I’ve done my best to respond to emails as quickly as I can but as I type this, there are 600 sitting in my inbox and some of you have sent back responses to my responses and I read what I wrote and wonder if I’m on any prescription medication or if english is my second language. The answer is no to both of those but at least that would’ve given me an excuse.

The new forum is located at: Windchill Forum

The forum is a work in progress – it will eventually be a component of the Windchill foundation site – I have a request out for people to develop the new site. Unfortunately developers have had difficulty understanding this is for a non-profit site. I’m also not sure how the blogging will work – if you still want me to be blogging. Not sure whether that should be here on this site, or on the forum. It probably won’t be part of the official foundation site since my views may not be what equine director emeritus’ Windchill’s views might be on things – for instance I make no bones that I like cigars and coffee, his views may be different on that (though he never complained once I might add). Thus please bear with us as we get this going. Even though we’re still tweaking the forum even as I type this, I’m going to announce it now so that you have a place to start talking. The speed issues will be resolved shortly as it migrates to its new high speed, high bandwidth server. One thing I’ve learned in ‘talking’ with you like this – you like to listen apparently. For you techies, this blog and site are now using around 120 gig of bandwidth. The most I ever used in the past was 4 gig for an entire month! Thanks for your support, your kind words and your prayers. You are amazing people.

By the way, we’ve heard from quite a few people hoping to come out tomorrow to see Windchill, the stall he lived, talk and remember. Some folks are flying in, many others are driving. I’ll try to post the weather later so you know what you’re in for. It’s nice out today, though still only 1 degree so a bit colder than some of the places you’re coming from.

Windchill books: I’ve mentioned the idea of writing a couple of books – one for ‘big’ people and one for ‘little’ people and gotten a lot of support for the idea (the proceeds of which would go to the foundation or fund). Ummm, does anyone have any idea how you actually publish the book(s)? Are any of you literary agents or knowledgeable in how to go about this? I suppose we could self publish these days. I don’t know, I guess I find with Windchill gone what energy I have I want to apply to the greater good. To me that’s meant finding a way to connect you all up to talk and heal, work on the foundation idea and the books idea. It’s probably left over adrenaline I’m guessing. Thanks for listening to these ramblings and letting me know your thoughts, this has helped me immensely knowing we haven’t been in this alone.

I was looking where to cut off the posts from the original Windchill saga in 2008 and realized just as much occurred in the month following Windchill’s death as happened during. Therefore, unedited, I’m posting the next month’s worth of posts because it really showed how Windchill’s family came together even more, helping each other heal, helping us form what would become The WindChill Legacy, Ltd., how money can corrupt as in the case of all of the donations that came in to the Duluth-based non-profit who had promised to help us in our time of need with the donations you all sent in to help with Windchill’s costs. Of course we saw that same thing happen at a major Minnesota university as well – thank God for University of California-Davis and their constant presence, assistance and advice during the Windchill days. Unselfishly and without desire for publicity or money they gave of their time and advice – they actually returned our phone calls! Individuals stepped forward as did organized folks like the Fans of Barbaro and gave of their time, money and energy. To all of you we raise our glasses in toast and we remember your generosity, your warm, caring hearts and the positive energy you sent to carry us in our time of need. God bless everyone of you and thank you for your noble natures.

Jeff Tucker