April 2nd, 2010

You know how you like to put all those ominous FBI, Interpol and other warnings at the front of the DVDs most of us humans purchase – well guess what? It’s only on the DVDs of those of us who have legally purchased your movie. Why don’t you just put those warnings on the illegal bootleg copies and let those of us purchasing the videos legally actually get to the movie and maybe put a “thank you” message to us for keeping you employed at the beginning – a very short one without all those tiny words will be enough to thank us. I don’t want to hurt your feelings but the reality is most of us put the DVD in and because we can’t fast forward past your scary warning to the law abiding, we use that time to go to the bathroom or get snacks in the kitchen, so all your impressive writing is going to waste.
Sincerely,
Jeffrey L. Tucker
Legal Video Watcher
Legal disclaimer: The preceding opinion may or may not express the opinions, views, observations or obsessions of me, myself or I. This work is fiction and/or possibly nonfiction and is not intended to bare any similarity or likeness to any entity, living or dead. Hotly contested words may or may not be a source of global warming. Contains over 90% of the US Government’s required daily rhetoric. Not valid in all 50 states. Void where prohibited. Some settling may have occurred during shipment.