I’ve been reluctant to share this news with the world – I wanted to avoid all the sudden ‘friends’ coming around. Anyway, I received a personal email from a Nigerian prince oil executive attorney relative of a deceased dictator who asked for my assistance getting a significant sum of money out of their country. I know what you’re thinking – and I was skeptical as well. So I emailed back and asked “why me?” Well they wrote back that they got my name from an associate so obviously it’s true. Armed with that verification and their promise that I will receive a share of the dollars just for sending them my bank account info – I happily turned in my resignation and am spending the day running up my credit card limits!

Jeffrey L. Tucker’s Predictions for 2011

* Apple will be in the news for everything and anything even if they don’t do a thing.
* North Korea will make amazingly belligerent statements that would get them their ass kicked if they were a kid on the playground.
* For those wanting financial advice – the stock market will have some wild fluctuations – up or down. Please be careful with information this powerful.
* Oil will have wild fluctuations which will be explained as: increased demand (huge increases at pump), diminished demand (slight decrease at pump), increased supplies (slight decreases at pump), decreased supplies, an oil executive has sneezed (again, huge increases), speculators, and refineries that are closed for cleaning .
* My daughter Amanda will graduate from high school.
* Facebook will be mentioned over and over and over until we stop using it because we’re sick of that.
* There will be speculation that Raindance Farms will be acquired by Jessica Simpson, Josh Groban, Justin Bieber or Martha Stewart. Later investigation will indicate I was the unnamed source and that I was bored that day.
* Rumors of unidentified flying object crashes will be run rampant in the South Range area. Suspiciously, when asked about his AR.Drone, Jeffrey L. Tucker will not have any comment.
* iPad 2 and iPhone 5 will make for Christmas all year long.
*I will take some time off from the office finally and will receive thank you cards from the staff.
* It will be yet another year of experts. Which is part of the reason I don’t post much these days…
* Change will be good.

My new Drone!

Just this fall, shoppers at the Macy’s in Philadelphia (the old Wanamaker building) were surprised when over 600 choristers who were there mingling with regular shoppers suddenly burst into Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus.

The Opera Company of Philadelphia was instrumental in bringing it together to perform one of the Knight Foundation’s “1000 Random Acts of Culture” which they’ll be doing over the next three years across the country. Accompanied by the Wanamaker Organ – the world’s largest pipe organ – the singers burst into song at exactly noon.

Enjoy!

http://www.creativeminorityreport.com/2010/11/awesome-pop-up-hallelujah-chorus-at.html

While everybody sends greetings out to all the people on their lists, most of whom they can’t remember how they ended up on this list in the first place, I’d like to send one out to a special breed of person: atheists.
I don’t hate atheists, I think it amazing somebody would play with their eternity like that and I like to think that I give them all a purpose because if there were no God, atheism would have nothing to deny.
School districts and universities along with government entities have become quite adept at removing “Christmas” from verbage in their never-ending quest for separation of church and state and self-appointed mission to cram their views down everybody’s throats. I’ve been writing the most vocal proponents of removing Christmas by telling them to really impress me – if they truly believe in their mission, then make a stand and earn my respect: Stop taking Christmas off. If there’s no God, and nothing to celebrate, stand by those words and send out a memo to your staffs and tell them you’re eliminating it as a holiday. You’ve spent so much time trying to cram your beliefs and views down our throat, this truly puts your money where your mouth is. You may have to deal with some of that unpleasant “Democracy” you probably heard about back in elementary school before you took on the role of Christmas Czar and imposed your beliefs on the rest of us. The unpleasant result will more than likely be being cast out of office, or having your employees vote with their feet.
Tell you what my atheist friend, I’ll make this easier: Even though you’ve used your constitutional rights to cram your views down the throats of those who do believe differently than you, I’ll give you partial credit and partial respect if just YOU don’t take “the holidays” off. The holidays came about as a result of the birth of Jesus Christ. You don’t believe in that – show us all by working through the holidays and living your beliefs, not being a hypocrite and taking the birth of our Lord off. Please send me a fax confirming that you are living your beliefs, I’ll celebrating the birth of our Lord and King – and both of us will be living our beliefs. That’s my gift to you.

…WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 6 AM CST SUNDAY…

A WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 6 AM CST SUNDAY.

* SNOW ACCUMULATIONS: STORM TOTAL ACCUMULATIONS FROM 10 TO 14 INCHES ARE EXPECTED.

* WINDS AND VISIBILITY: NORTHEAST TO NORTH WINDS OF 15 TO 30 MPH SATURDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHT WILL CAUSE BLOWING AND DRIFTING SNOW…WHICH COULD REDUCE VISIBILITIES TO LESS THAN A HALF MILE AT TIMES. LOCALLY STRONGER GUSTS OF 30 TO 40 MPH ARE EXPECTED NEAR LAKE SUPERIOR.

* MAIN IMPACT: ACCUMULATING… AND BLOWING AND DRIFTING SNOW WILL MAKE TRAVEL HAZARDOUS. BITTERLY COLD WIND CHILLS OF 15 TO 30 BELOW ZERO ARE EXPECTED SATURDAY NIGHT AND SUNDAY MORNING.

PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS…

A WINTER STORM WARNING FOR HEAVY SNOW AND BLOWING SNOW MEANS THE COMBINATION OF STRONG WINDS AND FALLING AND BLOWING SNOW WILL CAUSE DANGEROUSLY LOW VISIBILITY AND DRIFTING SNOW. SNOW AND ICE COVERED ROADS…AND DANGEROUS TRAVEL CONDITIONS CAN BE EXPECTED. DELAY TRAVEL IF POSSIBLE. IF YOU MUST TRAVEL…USE EXTREME CAUTION AND ALLOW EXTRA TIME TO REACH YOUR DESTINATION. BE AWARE THAT YOU MAY BECOME STRANDED AND THAT IT COULD TAKE MANY HOURS FOR HELP TO ARRIVE. KEEP A WINTER SURVIVAL KIT IN YOUR VEHICLE… INCLUDING A FLASHLIGHT…FOOD…AND WATER. LET SOMEONE KNOW YOUR TRAVEL ROUTE AND EXPECTED ARRIVAL TIME AND HAVE A WORKING CELL PHONE IN CASE YOU BECOME STRANDED.

I went to Gander Mountain today, Jord. Our birthday tradition. I took the same path we always ended up taking. I looked at rifles. No, I still haven’t bought a 30/30 yet. Always figured we’d do that together on a someday that never came. I looked at those trail cameras you liked. They’re the same price. We shudda just bought you one. I never gave you a budget. It never occurred to me that wouldve helped you look for stuff. I was just happy to be there with you. I learned from you. Today I turned my cell phone off. Just like you did. I was in the moment. Like you were. I looked at all those fishing lures, like we always did. But this time I couldn’t hear your voice. Even the echoes have faded.

I tried so hard to remember what you told me about what they all did. I tried to hear your voice. But it’s gone. I walked the same aisles. Searching for you…desperately listening. I looked for you in the parking lot – the last place I saw you alive. I remember you trying to choose between that deer shirt and the bass one and telling you to get both. I remember telling you that you should get a job at Gander Mountain as we stood in line and laughing when you said you’d work for store credit. You said you’d look for a job after hunting season and I agreed it was better to wait. I found the fishing lure you were so excited we bought you. They’ve moved them and I still found it. Just like I found it next to your bed after you died. The same one that’s on top of your ashes on my shelf.

There was just as many people here this year but the store was so much emptier without your voice explaining to me what all this stuff is. I don’t know if I’ll come back here next year now that you’re not here. I didn’t realize the echoes would fade too. I’ll still remember each and every birthday Jordan. I just don’t think it will be here.

November 30, 2008: It’s been a long holiday. Fortunately my brother stayed here until this morning. He was a constant companion and distraction, making sure to stay near when Kat was at work or in between chores, etc. We’re all doing about as good as can be expected given that Jordan wasn’t with us. We had big plans for this Thanksgiving. He was going to come visit for the weekend. We were going to play XBox 360 until our eyes were blurry. He spent his time after school most days in his deer stand. He was hopeful he’d get his deer by the time he was going to come visit and we were going to turn lots of the meat into jerky for him – most likely to have with then when he spent his days after school ice fishing. And our tradition since he was a little boy was late night turkey sandwiches. I’d always ask if he wanted mayo – he’d always politely tell me he liked his plain. I’d always tell him “you don’t know what you’re missing…” He’d always tell me he was fine missing it. We’d take our sandwiches into the living room and inevitably he would put his favorite movie in – “The Santa Claus”. We’d watch it for the thousandth time that visit. No matter how big and tough he got, he never lost the magic. He loved the outdoors. I didn’t get to see him much as he got older. Our schedules were insane, he was always busy. And now that I’ve seen all the people in his life, how loved he was…I understand more why now.

Jordan learned something I wish I had learned earlier on in life. I didn’t really learn it until the last couple of years, maybe even the last year or two. What Jordan learned early on was to live the moment you’re in. Live it fully and experience it. Be happy and just enjoy this moment. Most of us don’t do that. We say we do but we don’t. We’re busy emailing, texting, watching commercials, mentally somewhere else. Wherever we are, we’re anxious to get somewhere else. We rush the moment we’re in to get to the next moment where we impatiently wait to jump to the next. Thursday, November 13, 2008, at 6:15pm, I sat across from Jordan Lee at Outback Steakhouse. He had just turned 18 that Monday – and just gotten his grad pictures back which he brought for me. He talked most of the time, I listened. He talked of which colleges he had narrowed it down to. Asked what’s good here. Talked of ice fishing and hunting. How he was going to wait to get a job until hunting season was over. He asked about the farm, deer hunting in Wisconsin, this and that. He laughed, smiled and kidded. Never once did he look at or take out his cell phone for what must have been a zillion messages and texts waiting for his reply. He was living this moment. We went to Gander Mountain to buy his birthday presents – he chose ice fishing supplies. We shopped and talked. He was going to let me know if his ice fishing tent was warm enough with the small heater or if he needed that larger one – that was going to be his Christmas present. As we checked out, his gifts came to more than the ‘limit’. He suggested he put one of the two shirts he couldn’t decide between back. I told him to keep them both and it’s his birthday.

Not many can point to the exact time of their last communication between themselves and a loved one. I can. It occurred on November 13th via cell phone text messages, shortly after a father and son finished birthday shopping. Jordan was heading back to his home in Cloquet, and I was on my way back to my farm in Wisconsin. It went like this:

8:20pm: Happy birthday again Jord. I’m very proud of u and glad I got to see u
8:31pm: Yeah thanks for takin me shoppin. I had fun
8:32pm: Good i’m glad. Me too.

One night later and my son would no longer be here to text. I know that because I have checked my phone a thousand times. That last conversation is saved in my phone’s inbox. There won’t be any more texts from or to him but I still check. Just in case this was a horribly bad dream. So my advice to you is to fill somebody’s inbox right now. Say you’re sorry, say you miss them, say you love them, say hello. Make sure your last message sitting in someone’s inbox at 8:32pm or whenever is something you’re glad you told them.

Jordan.wav

Jordan\'s last voicemail letting Barb know where he was that afternoon after school, 11/14/2008

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24 Truths for Adults – unfortunately I don’t know who the author is so it’s unattributed

1. Part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

24. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.