Dead Man Walking…updates/blogs from July, 2008 wedding *
July 29th, 11:00am: Coming shortly…the wedding photos…(working on it right now). Okay folks, finally had family and friends email us some shots of our wedding so here it is:
Kathi & Jeff’s Wedding Pictures
July 25th, 11:56am update: Still alive. Things have calmed down for this moment. My brother rarely comes out of his temporary quarters now. We communicate through a system of taps and whistles we’ve worked out. Sometimes we whisper through the ductwork when the matrimonial warden isn’t pacing outside our cells…5 hours, 4 minutes…this may be my last update for you since she didn’t find a lot of humor in my last update. For anyone else getting married – statements to avoid thus far: “Dead man walking;” “Don’t use the phone because I’m waiting for the governor to call with a reprieve;” Posting any updates that involve a bride, bride’s mom, hyperactivity, how black tux material absorbs light so you can be under a bridal radar. Oh, and also learn to say “yes” a lot. Any deviation from that one statement can lead to groom mishap. Oh, and also “Of course it’s important.” That can be intermittently interjected as well and is received fairly well. Also it’s important to appear to carefully deliberate when you are asked for the opinion that will be overridden anyway and not respond with “Is there a correct answer to your question that if given, will ensure my survival?” Learn from this experience men, write these things on index cards and carry them with you. Do not attempt to go it alone.
Other than that things are pretty much ready and we’re just listening to the clock tick its rapidly accelerating journey around the clock face as wedding hour approaches. Seriously, in around 11 years this will be hilariously fun to talk about and it’s pretty exciting. Thanks the nice notes and cards friends, they’re greatly appreciated!
11:00am: Oh man. The laying low avoiding the radar isn’t working at all today. 6 hours 12 minutes. No calls from the governor. Food and water running low, I just hope we make it…
July 24th, 9:20am: 1 day, 7 hours, 17 minutes, 38 seconds – that’s what the wedding countdown counter on my desktop tells me is the time until dead man walking…unless I get a call from the governor with that reprieve of course… Already this morning I don’t know how many pots of coffee bride-to-be and soon to be mother-in-law have brewed. They come in, replenish their tankards of coffee and head back outside to continue planning, discussion, scrutinizing and evaluating all options in this matrimonial battle plan. They just made another pot- I avoided scrutiny by feigning death and becoming one with this easy chair when Kat glanced in this direction. Great two women hopped up on caffeine writing out “to do lists” in the early morning light. So far I’ve stayed alive through sheer cunning and being in a place that is other than the place where they are, flying low and under the radar like a stealth bomber/groom. I understand now why most grooms are dressed in black at their weddings – the black material absorbs light and reduces exposure time by standing in a darkened corner or low light area and avoiding any sort of sound emission whatsoever until the prerequisite “I do” time comes. Just checked the phone again – it works – so the governor can get through with that reprieve if he needs to. Hold on, I gotta check it again…okay the phone works so the governor can get through…
Seriously, family has arrived from all over the country and that hasn’t been so awful. And in between, I got two more pastures mowed and I now sport my summer traditional bleached blonde hair and dark tan from my over-absorption of sunlight. And managed to not get burned – not easy for a Finlander! Today is overcast so no danger I’m going to overdo it out in the fields, get sunburned just before the ceremony and thus look like a lobster-groom for the pictures tomorrow and probably never live that down. I see them eyeing me at the moment. I am moving in slow, carefully controlled movements because I’m pretty sure they hunt by groom movement. My brother has now taken to hiding in the room he’s staying in – my daughter’s all pink bedroom, with white trim. That gives you an idea how bad it’s gotten here on the wedding front. At any moment marriage may break out. I’d crawl through the kitchen to get to the relative safety of his fortress but that’d mean passing them both and I’m pretty sure they’ve got a lock-on on me right now. Wish me luck friends.
July 23rd, 10:31am: Wow, where has the time gone! I’m so sorry I’ve been away from here, thanks for emailing to check in family and friends! We’ve been busy getting ready for the Big Day – yup, Friday I’m retired from standing at stud here at Raindance – I consider myself lucky that I’m just being retired given that Kathi has worked so hard to develop criteria for the WindChill Legacy’s gelding program!
In between working with the programmer on the new Legacy website, blog, photo gallery and video gallery we’ve been working with educators on Windchill’s educational programs and a number of other projects. Amazing how many things are going on at the same time! In between, we’ve been planning for the wedding and have family arriving all this week so this is the calm before the storm. The barn’s pretty much done, a lot of you got to watch me doing lots of manual labor moving all that gravel in with Excalibur then raking and shoveling it into stalls. 6 inches of gravel per stall….whew. This week I’m out mowing pastures so if you’re bored after this post you’ll find me out mowing the back pasture. Come to think of it the cam on that pasture isn’t a public one, sorry…you’ll just have to imagine me driving endless circles with the tractor out there mowing.
Most of the wedding plans are done. I’d say Kat’s handling it all in stride and for those issues that have arisen that could’ve been obstacles, well I pity them for having stood in her way! So Friday we head out and get hitched!
* Advice to grooms: DON’T SERVE WEDDING CAKE. Heed this warning…