Jordan Lee Tucker
November 10, 1990 - November 15, 2008
Raindance Farms website (click here)
Jordan Lee Tucker
November 10, 1990 - November 15, 2008
Jordan Video - One Year Later (a memorial done by his classmates)
Memories of Jordan Tucker from Allie Ziells on
Vimeo.
Make your 8:32pm Count
Not many can point to the exact time of their last communication between themselves and a loved one. I can. It occurred on November 13th, 2008, via cell phone text messages, shortly after a father and son finished birthday shopping. Jordan was heading back to his home in Cloquet, and I was on my way back to my farm in Wisconsin. It went like this:
8:20pm: Happy birthday again Jord. I'm very proud of u and glad I got to see u
8:31pm: Yeah thanks for takin me shoppin. I had fun
8:32pm: Good i'm glad. Me too.
One night later and my son would no longer be here to text. I know that because I have checked my phone a thousand times. That last conversation is saved in my phone's inbox. There won't be any more texts from or to him but I still check. Just in case this was a horribly bad dream. So my advice to you is to fill somebody's inbox right now. Say you're sorry, say you miss them, say you love them, say hello. Make sure your last message sitting in someone's inbox at 8:32pm or whenever is something you're glad you told them.
Jordan's message left on my computer, age 3
Jordan's last voicemail letting Barb know where he was that afternoon after school, 11/14/2008
Jordan's memorial website is:
www.JordanTucker.com
Jordan Tucker Life Video
(Jordan's life, prepared by Nelson Funeral Care for
Jordan's memorial service - large file, please be patient)
His obituary:
Jordan L. Tucker, age 18 years and 5 days, of Cloquet, passed away unexpectedly
in his sleep early Saturday, November 15, 2008. He was born November 10, 1990 in
Duluth. Jordan attended Churchill Elementary School, Cloquet Middle School, and
would have graduated next spring from Esko High School. He was an honor student
with a passion for fishing and hunting especially around Lake Vermilion where he
had many “secret” walleye spots. Jordan loved soccer and was named
all-conferences goalie and played in the all star game this fall. He also was an
excellent youth soccer referee.
Jordan is dearly
loved and greatly missed by his mother and step-father, Barbara and Mike
Krzenski; father and step-mother, Jeff and Kathi Tucker; sisters Amanda and
Breanna Tucker; grandparents, Bob and Danielle Stevens, Karen Tucker, Ron and
Jean Tucker; great-grandparents, Mary and Stanley Hill; uncles Brad (Toni)
Stevens, Rick (Maureen) Tucker, and aunt Julie (Lowell) Fermenich; step-sister,
Amber (Ben) Ward; step-brothers, Jake (Kristy) Krzenski and Jesse Krzenski;
numerous cousins; and a multitude of very good friends.
Jordan had a
great sense of humor, and a deep baritone voice that rumbled when he spoke. He
was a tough man, a good friend, a great son, and the best brother. He will
always be remembered, never forgotten, and his memories will be honored as well
as treasured. In lieu of flowers, memorials are preferred to a memorial fund in
Jordan’s name at U.S. Bank.
Visitation will
be 5:00 – 8:00 p.m. Wednesday, November 19, 2008 at Nelson Funeral Care in
Cloquet. The visitation will resume
on Thursday, November 20, 2008 from 2:00 p.m. until the 4:00 p.m. funeral
service at Grace Baptist Church in Cloquet, followed with a time of fellowship
in the church social hall. The family
has selected Nelson Funeral Care of Cloquet to assist them with arrangements.
See their online guest book at
www.nelsonfuneralcare.net.
11/20: We're building a tribute site to Jordan, a place to remember and celebrate his life. It will be located at www.JordanTucker.com. Heather at Circle City Web Design deserves a huge thank you for responding to my urgent request to build a site as quickly as possible. Yesterday from the time she received my email she had a site built in around 5 hours, and kept working into the night. We got home from Jordan's visitation and candlelight vigil at midnight or so - she was still sending me emails on it until 1 or 2 am when I finally logged off to go rest my eyes. She continued work this morning.
December 1, 2008: With special thanks to both the Pine Knot of Cloquet, MN and Nelson Funeral Care, here's some photos of Jordan's Memorial and Candlelight Vigil. After sharing stories about Jordan, the family walked through the crowd and lit candles and we all sat in silence, each with their own thoughts and reflections as Jordan lay at the front of the hall. Jordan's candlelight vigil pictures, November 19, 2008, at 8PM (300 people attended):
Make your 8:32pm Count - You may never have another
November 30, 2008: It's been a long holiday. Fortunately my brother stayed here until this morning. He was a constant companion and distraction, making sure to stay near when Kathi was at work or in between chores, etc. We're all doing about as good as can be expected given that Jordan wasn't with us. We had big plans for this Thanksgiving. He was going to come visit for the weekend. We were going to play XBox 360 until our eyes were blurry. He spent his time after school most days in his deer stand. He was hopeful he'd get his deer by the time he was going to come visit and we were going to turn lots of the meat into jerky for him - most likely to have with then when he spent his days after school ice fishing. And our tradition since he was a little boy was late night turkey sandwiches. I'd always ask if he wanted mayo - he'd always politely tell me he liked his plain. I'd always tell him "you don't know what you're missing..." He'd always tell me he was fine missing it. We'd take our sandwiches into the living room and inevitably he would put his favorite movie in - "The Santa Claus". We'd watch it for the thousandth time that visit. No matter how big and tough he got, he never lost the magic. He loved the outdoors. I didn't get to see him much as he got older. Our schedules were insane, he was always busy. And now that I've seen all the people in his life, how loved he was...I understand more why now. e to more than the 'limit'. He suggested he put one of the two shirts he couldn't decide between back. I told him to keep them both and it's his birthday.
Not many can point to the exact time of their last communication between themselves and a loved one. I can. It occurred on November 13th, 2008, via cell phone text messages, shortly after a father and son finished birthday shopping. Jordan was heading back to his home in Cloquet, and I was on my way back to my farm in Wisconsin. It went like this:
8:20pm: Happy birthday again Jord. I'm very proud of u and glad I got to see u
8:31pm: Yeah thanks for takin me shoppin. I had fun
8:32pm: Good i'm glad. Me too.
One night later and my son would no longer be here to text. I know that because I have checked my phone a thousand times. That last conversation is saved in my phone's inbox. There won't be any more texts from or to him but I still check. Just in case this was a horribly bad dream. So my advice to you is to fill somebody's inbox right now. Say you're sorry, say you miss them, say you love them, say hello. Make sure your last message sitting in someone's inbox at 8:32pm or whenever is something you're glad you told them.
Jordan's message left on my computer, age 3
Jordan's last voicemail letting Barb know where he was that afternoon after school, 11/14/2008
November 22, 2008: It's been slow progress but has at least given me a distraction - Jordan's tribute site is up:
Thank you to all who sent cards, tributes, emails and came to pay their respects at Jordan's visitation and funeral. I have no idea how many were at the church Thursday night for his funeral. It was the most the church had ever held according to long-time members and the pastor. It required traffic control from the police and took several hours for folks to be able to exit. Overflow folks had to stand in the lobby, foyer, and sit in rooms that had speakers to hear the service. It was harder than I thought it would be, at least the first half of the service. I thought the hardest part would be Wednesday night at 4pm. My ex-wife had requested that we each have 15 minutes alone with Jordan prior to the start of the family visitation time period. And so at 4pm, November 19, 2008, I had 15 minutes to tell Jordan everything we're all too busy to tell our loved ones, or too proud. He lay in the clothes he wore to school, his favorite Duke sweatshirt, his red hat. It was a very long walk from door to where he lay. Though I knew better, I did as I had always done when standing in the doorway as my kids slept - I listened for his deep, peaceful breathing. I have always found my own peace in listening to theirs. There was no sound. His peace was now found far from where I stood.
I only needed one minute for the really important part. I've always believed in telling my kids I loved them, even now when they're at the age that they're too cool to tell me that back. The rest of our talk...the rest I hope you never have to experience. 14 minutes is both an eternity and blink of an eye in the same time frame. Just like your children's lives are.
Over 600 people came to see Jordan Wednesday night. They tell me the line went on for hours, out the visitation area, down the hall, out the door, down the block. I don't remember. We had areas set up of his life - pictures. His many jerseys. His "secret" journals - he was a 'lister' - someone who listed everything - his goals in life, all the fish he's caught, game plays. In 2016 he was going to be his school's soccer coach. The hypothetical games they played that year were there. They did very well for a first time high school soccer coach named Jordan Tucker. In a sitting area there was a 20 minute video of Jordan's life set to music. I mostly stayed there. People said things to me. People hugged me. People shook my hand. People were sorry. People blended into tears. If you talked to me thank you. I don't remember.
My brother took me out to the truck for a cigar. Jordan's candlelight vigil was scheduled at 8pm. They arrived in droves, parents dropping off, carloads of teens, a non-stop flow. They gathered early, sitting on the floor. Waiting. At 8pm we were led into the chamber - 300 mostly teens, from 6 separate high schools sat in silence. We all sat on the floor. Memories were shared. The kids made an aisle down the middle. Family walked down the aisle, lighting the candles in silence. Out into the foyer and lobby areas where overflow people sat or stood. We sat in silence in the candle glow, some looking down, some looking at Jord in his casket. It was announced we could blow out our candles whenever we felt. Nobody felt like moving. I don't know how long passed. He came in again and announced this was the end of the service but we could stay as long as we'd like. They turned the lights up, they opened the doors. And still we all sat. At some point family blew out their candles. At some point I was leaning over Jordan and telling him "Goodnight pal, I love you Jord." I looked at the room as I was led out. Around half of the kids were still there, still in place in most cases. Most still had their candles lit. All that I saw were crying, men, women, boys, girls. That's all that I saw.
Thus, I thought that would be the hardest part. I was wrong. The hardest part came Thursday night. The hardest part is when they lead you back into the church to say "goodbye." Up until that point you feel that you have cried most of your tears. You have felt the most blinding searing pain you could have already felt in the days prior and thus you have no more to experience. And you are very, very wrong. It can't be described, at least not by me. I would not wish it upon my worst enemy. You say goodbye, goodnight, I love you to your little boy for the last time on this earth. The next time you see him, the box is closed. A preacher talks, others talk. You're standing in the cold after having watched the 8 pallbearers - 8 closest friends and family, and the 60 honorary pallbearers who asked to stand with him load him into a black hearse. You stand until someone is saying you should go in because of the cold. There are crowds everywhere. People trying to leave. People trying to stay. People are saying things to you. People are trying not to look at you. You're arranging what to do with all the flowers after. You're finally in your vehicle and away from people. Two days have passed and I'm typing. This is one of the points where the haze is a little lower than my vision. I'm grateful to God for The Haze. The shroud of shock that protects us when something incomprehensive or so unfair as to not be fathomable has struck. Without it, we would not survive the pain. While Jordan's loss could test the faith of people in a benevolent God, the protective haze reaffirms it. It is protective wings or arms wrapped around your mind and spirit.
Again, thank you to those who came to be with us. Thank you all for your prayers. Kathi has tried to read me cards through The Haze. It's too early for me to want to hear. Most of you have said it as it is: "There are no words..." You're right. There aren't. There are memories, there is pain, there is anger, there is hurt...at 4pm Wednesday there was excruciatingly loud silence... And thank God there is haze.
Jordan's last voicemail letting Barb know where he was that afternoon after school, 11/14/2008
Jordan's message left on my computer, age 3
Jordan's last voicemail letting Barb know where he was that afternoon after school, 11/14/2008
Sign Jordan's guestbook at Nelson Funeral Home
Pine Journal article, November 20, 2008
Duluth News-Tribune article on Jordan's passing, November 18, 2008
Duluth News-Tribune - Jordan's obituary, November 18, 2008
Duluth News-Tribune Video News Report on Jordan's passing
Lake Vermillion Tower Soudan News Report
Pine Journal article, published the day before Jordan's death
This is the sign a friend of Jordan's held up at the Baylor College basketball
game, 11/19/08, which was televised on ESPN. Jordan would've loved this tribute.
It read: "TUCKER from Esko, MN, ALWAYS LOVED"
- Winnie the Pooh
Raindance Farms, LLC
Jeff Tucker
(click on name for email info)
5303 S County Rd K
South Range, WI 54874
Barb & Mike Krzenski's address (Jordan's
mom & stepdad)
355 Prevost Road
Cloquet, MN 55720
(c) 2008-2011 Jeffrey L. Tucker / Barb & Mike Krzenski. all rights reserved
Thank you to Alan Johnson Photography - Mr. Johnson assigned all rights to
Jordan's photos to his family